Beginning school

Starting school – my feelings as a parent

The time has come for Sophia to start school. You would think that I would be totally ready for this. Sophia will be five on the 25th August, she attended the schools nursery for two years and they were fantastic! That still doesn’t mean I feel completely ready to hug her goodbye and send her through the school gates. I will be totally honest I feel quite panicked about this huge milestone in my child’s life. As much as I joke that it means I will get some peace and quiet she is very much my partner in crime and I will be lost without her.

School brings a lot of changes for everyone. It will take time to adjust and every parent will feel different on the day. That’s ok!

Before starting school Sophia has had me around for almost everything. I think it’s only natural to worry about what if something happens to her and I’m not around. I’m not going to be there to comfort her or encourage her. It feels like I’m sending her into the hunger games when I know her school is awesome. I guess that’s just the craziness of being a mother and it’s bringing back a lot of similar feelings I had when I first held her as a baby. I couldn’t fully keep her safe and was introducing her to a world that crazy things can happen and it’s happening all over again.

The 21st August will bring a whole bag of mixed emotions and that’s ok because this is a huge step for Sophia and her dad and I as parents. And although she is starting school just as your little one may be, they are still our babies and it’s a huge milestone that not only your child needs to adapt to but also something us mum’s and dad’s need to process.

Just incase you’re feeling the same way I wanted to put together a list of things that are freaking me out. Some might be completely ridiculous. Some you might be able to relate to!

  1. Will she be able to communicate with others. Sophia has limited speech, we see a speech therapist. Of course I can fully understand her. But will other people be able to?
  2. Are they going to expect too much of her? One thing I realised quickly when I became a mum was how much people expect of children. Health visitors have their little check sheets and when Sophia couldn’t do something I would panic. In my crazy head every other child was a genius. In general I think we can all forget they are only small. They are still learning and learn at different levels.
  3. What if someone is mean to her? This will happen at some point in the future. It’s part of life and has happened to us all. But it does break my heart that she will experience this. It’s a horrible part of life! Yes it can make you stronger and all that jargon. But mess with my child and you awake the dragon! Just be warned!
  4. Will she manage at lunch time? She manages fine at home! How will she cope with the whole you que at this side. You need this band to tell the staff what you ordered. This goes in one bin and that in another bin. I can tell you now this is just my anxiety. Sophia will burst into that lunch hall without a care in the world. Just let me roll with my craziness though!
  5. How will she be sat in a class? Let’s face it nursery is different to a class. In nursery she could play and wonder between inside and outside (which she loves!). Is she going to get told off if she can’t sit still!? How do I feel about another person disciplining my child? That’s another ball game.

All I’m wishing is that I raise Sophia to be happy, make wise choices, live life to the fullest and that she has a great circle of people around her.

Honestly I could go and and on with this list of mines. I could make myself sick imagining up all of these scenarios! From who will kiss her boo boo to will she manage her shoes.  People keep telling me Sophia isn’t my baby anymore. Well those people need to be quiet because she will always be my baby. I will always protect her even when she is an adult. I’m excited for her to grow & learn. I’m excited for her to socialize. Motherhood is a beautiful thing where we get to watch these little people we created grow into such characters. Just don’t assume that I’m feeling one emotion on the 21st August when she walks through those doors without me. And maybe have a glass of wine waiting for me at home, I don’t care if it’s early I will need it!

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