Yes readers I have been struck down with a good old case of mum flu! It’s got me good and I fear I may not have long left. If you don’t know what the hell mum flu is just keep reading.
It all started around two weeks ago.
My energy levels dropped, I could feel an almighty migraine brewing but not taking hold and then boom! I woke up looking like a swollen, snotty and coughing mess. My body is aching but I cant quite decide if its similar to the ache after I attempted a kettle-bell class for the first time. Seriously, that was painful. Or if the ache is similar to how I wake up after having a sip of a bottle or two of wine. The closer I get to thirty the more alcohol hurts my mind, body and soul.
I’m coughing so frequently that i’m managing to make myself sick. Sneezing so often that my nose burst and I freaked Sophia the hell out. She was convinced my sneeze was so big that my brain was escaping via my nostrils. Our cat want’s nothing to do with me and I’m thinking this is to do with how loud I’m being.
Mum flu means the house is falling apart.
By some miracle I’ve had enough energy to get Sophia to school. However the laundry is getting out of control and the dishes are hanging around a little longer than usual. Meals have become the kind you just chuck into the oven with zero prep involved. I did attempt to clean and only managed our tiny living room before nearly passing out. Now i’m wondering would passing out have been terrible? I could have maybe came round feeling all refreshed! Things just aren’t in their right place. But guess what? Even though my typical daily to do list is taking longer it’s still mostly being done. Because mum flu doesn’t mean you can launch yourself into bed until you’re all better.
Surviving mum flu.
How do you survive this awful illness I can almost hear you say! Don’t for one minute assume it’s like man flu. Nobody will run after you, if you wan’t medicine you get up off your ass and get it yourself. You simply arm yourself with a multi pack of tissues from the supermarket, pop some paracetamol or decongestants if you’re feeling fancy and plod on. Your child may tuck you in on the sofa with their blanket as an act of kindness. Then rip it off of you and declare they’re either bored, hungry or both. Some even start taking a multi-vitamin and promise themselves to get healthy – this may last a week or two.
If you’re lucky your significant other might brave a visit to the supermarket and ask if you would like anything. This is a trap, don’t get your hopes up. They won’t bring you everything you’ve dreamed of. If my some miracle you do manage to sneak to your bed for a nap this won’t last long. A child will discover you after being sat on their dads knee. They will then wake you up and need a snack, juice or their butt wiped. Apparently only mummy is good enough for this job. Extra curricular activities will still need to be attended.
How to celebrate when you’re feeling good again.
You don’t. Just crack on with anything that you’ve fallen behind with. Remember how amazing it is to be able to breathe through your nostrils again. Take in how great food tastes and feel a little giddy that your body is back to is usual level of achiness.